Case Air Flown

What is the funniest or craziest thing you have ever seen on an aircraft?

Would love to hear from pilots, military or civilian, aircrew, airport workers etc. or just passengers. winning entry gets to laugh as loud as I will at all the other entries! The only funny episode I had was flying with my marines on a “starlifter” to washington (winter training in yakima) and they had us eat before we left, after 30 minutes they let us know we were going to fly “low” for training. In the turbulent air, one after another of my marines, well, ate again! I have never seen it so bad (my gunny refused to leave the head) and I never, ever laughed so hard in my life. Oh and in case you think I did not care about my men, I helped clean up the “mess” with them when we landed!

While in the Air Force, a team of us (6 people) were flying in an old Irish built, propeller aircraft ( I can’t recall the type, but the AF used them to transfer aircraft parts among bases within the European theater). The aircraft was extremely sparse and the seats resembled the old two-seaters used on yellow school buses (there were just 3 in the plane). When removed, there was just enough room to fit an assembled F-16 engine inside.

We were flying back to Germany from England. I might add the aircraft was extremely loud, and we had to holler at each other to try and communicate. Also, the weather was cold and we were flying so low the pilot had to use the windshiled wipers over the English channel. Heat was diverted from the cabin to the windshield to prevent the wipers from freezing. So everyone was tense, cold and could hardly hear others speak.

During the course of the flight, nature initiated her early warning system on me, but the urge was slight and I knew I could wait until we landed. Yet, I did start to wonder about the toilet facility, when, off to the side, I saw a five-gallon paint can with a toilet seat somehow attached to the top of the can. I started conjuring up all kind of mental images associated with that can, when one guy leaned back to the others and said something. One of us obviously heard him because he pointed to the can. We’re all still straining to see out the windshield, when we turn and see this guy, perched atop this can, pants down, with a sheepish, embarassing look on his face, with us sharing this moment with him! A couple of guys started screaming something, as he just sat, with this beet-red quizzical look on his face. Finally, a guy on the end of a seat hopped up, went to the corner, and flipped back a thin, long panel to reveal a plastic curtain tucked inside. He pulled the curtain out and swung it around the guy sitting on the bucket, similar to the action of a curtain rod around a small circular shower stall.

Within a few seconds we all busted out laughing. But that was a peep compared to the laughter when he re-emerged from the “toilet.” He sat, red-faced for the next 40 minutes, until we landed in Germany. He kept trying to turn to different people to explain his ignorance, but no one could hear him. That poor fellow got ribbed forevermore during our team travels in the Eurpean theater. His gag gifts included things like a rain coat with cut-off pants legs included, a clear shower curtain…..

The Case of the “Missing” Nukes – 1

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