Fish Tank Jello

I like to leave on weekends, is that okay?

So, often I leave on weekends and I leave my kids at the house. I like to “hide”, per soi, food around the house for them to find. The other day, I left two hamburgers I found behind the fish tank. Now I hide nibs too, and tomorrow I’m going to fill the bathtub with jello and staple a hot dog to the cat.

Some people don’t think this is fine, which baffles me. I make eating fun! Plus when I’m gone on a four day bender, I have no idea when I’ll see my precious little “egg salamanders” again. How on earth could this be considered bad parenting? Should I wait for my kids to be old enough to dial a phone in case they need help? They are 2 and 4.

Just Urinate in the DOLT from Child Protective Services face. They will agree with everything you’re doing.

Schew Aquarium Jello foot – 9LB